He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
