He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
