This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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