i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
