so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
