you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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