You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
