Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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