he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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