Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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