I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
