What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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