Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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