I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
