i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
