is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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