Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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