All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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