Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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