Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
