is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize