my vag is so smooth its legendary
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize