Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
