he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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