The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were trust falling into bushes
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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