Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need to wash the frat house off of me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
