Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
