I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
