your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
