you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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