why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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