SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there's paper in my vomit.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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