I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize