I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
4 words: hood of his car
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
