the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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