i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
being pregnant is like rehab
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
