Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
