Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
