i permit you to call me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
