Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
