I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize