if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
farters have to be the big spoon...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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