Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
