dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
