She said her name was "party"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
