we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
