I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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