right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
