Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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