oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Randomize
