I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
