WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
And then he peed in my hair
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