I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
