If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
