I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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