it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
