Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize