I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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