Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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