He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
