is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
